Hello
I am sorry that you are having a hard time.
You should know that there are a good number of resources for help with anxiety and intrusive thoughts. In addition to the book, Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts, there is a follow up book titled, Needing to Know for Sure, by Seif and Winston. The third book of this trilogy is Overcoming Anticipatory Anxiety, by Winston and Seif. Those three books will provide you with a solid foundation in tackling your problems with anxiety, unwanted thoughts, memory checking, and other issues of doubt and uncertainty and anticipatory anxiety.
There are also some very good resources on the website of the Anxiety and Depression Association of America… www.adaa.org.
Take a very careful look at my website. It contains a trove of self-help information for people with all sorts of anxiety issues, including the former Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts Newsletters. And be sure to read my Psychology Today Blog: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-sticky-mind For additional self help books, check out the 10 Best OCD Books For 2021
For more detailed information about anxiety disorders and the best forms of treatment, read my introductory textbook, What Every Therapist Needs to Know About Anxiety Disorders. Many patients have found it to be especially helpful.
If you are looking for individual help, the best resources for finding specialists in your area–or virtually– are the “find a therapist” sections of www.adaa.org www.iocdf.org and www.abct.org. You are looking for someone who utilizes an acceptance based, third wave CBT approach.
Best of luck to you,
Sincerely,
Marty